Stop Apologizing For Using Your Phone in the Morning and Other Things to Not Feel Guilty About
Sorry not sorry: morning edition.
I’ve always been a morning person. An early bird.
Growing up, I was a competitive figure skater. Ice times were early. Wakeup, get dressed, and go move.
I was used to it. And I became incapable of sleeping in.
In middle school I was the first one awake at sleepovers, hunting for a PopTart without trying to wake parents up.
In high school I was the first one to the SATs. Nice and early, with enough time to drive back home to get my forgotten calculator.
In college I frequently woke up way too early the night after a party, my BAC still soaring above the legal limit (not as fun as it sounds).
And man, adulthood is something else entirely.
Life can get weird when you wake up in the 2s. But honestly, I fucking love it.
My life as an early bird has of course changed shape over the years. But right now, it functionally looks like whatever I want it to. How freeing.
The Morning Routine is something that’s so utterly glamorized right now. And honestly, the whole thing kind of gives me the ick.
No screens. Journaling. A savory breakfast. Lemon water. Green juice. Red light. Grounding.
The list goes on.
I swear every influencer is out here with telling us to eat 20 grams of protein within an hour of waking like we’ve never heard that one before.
And YES. All of those things are great.
My morning has some of those elements. Sometimes.
But the start of my day is rooted in my wellbeing, rather than in wellness culture.
And sorry not sorry, that’s really all that matters.
My mornings are for me.
It’s okay if you use your phone in the morning.
Now stay with me here. I’m not saying click Instagram the second your eyes open. (Or ever really). I’m not saying check your email while you sip your coffee. And I’m definitely not telling you to do your online billing before dawn.
But if your days are anything like mine, they’re a little bit chaotic.
And if there are phone chores (as I like to call them) that are on my list, chances are they will not get done unless I do them on my time.
And by phone chores. I mean fun things:
Substack writing/reading
Pinterest scrolling
Ordering the new pajamas I’ve had my eye on
What in the world is the Connections today??
Remember, this is my time. I make the rules.
It’s okay if you eat something quick.
The first thing I eat every morning is two chocolate muffins. With a mini silver fork.
I swear they’re healthy. They’re made with buckwheat flour and the cleanest protein powder money can buy.
But for so long I felt so guilty that this wasn’t the most balanced most perfect breakfast.
It’s delicious, and it’s quick.
And in the mornings, I need quick. And I deserve crave-able.
Also not a hot take - but if you’re eating something small, quick, or on the go in the mornings, that’s a whole lot better than nothing. And a whole lot of people do in fact eat a whole lot of nothing. (Sad).
It’s okay if you don’t order your coffee black.
I’ll never forget my first black coffee. It was actually probably like the worlds shittiest cup of coffee. Something in Styrofoam in the parking lot of a gas station. I’m pretty sure my mom just deemed me an adult enough at the ripe age of 15 to be like sure here try this!
I proceeded to have a great practice that afternoon (figure skater, remember). And I was officially hooked.
From high school until 1st trimester of pregnancy I started my day with at least one scalding hot cup. Black, always.
I used to look at people who didn’t drink their coffee black like are you literally kidding me? This is medicine guys. It’s not supposed to be yummy?
WOOF. I was really missing the plot.
I swear one of the reasons I’m such an early bird now is because the second my eyes lightly flutter, I have one thought: matcha.
Yes it’s not coffee I KNOW. But even though my son is very much a toddler now, coffee still gives me the ick.
BUT. Every morning I make my matcha with the utmost attention to detail. With my favorite ingredients. I like it frothy. I like it sweet. I like it vanilla-y with a nutty undertone.
It is delicious, and it’s the perfect start to my day.
So if sipping lighter fluid first thing in the morning if your thing: go off queen.
But if you’re in your betty crocker era and measuring your honey with your heart: I’m with ya.
Make it yummy. Your morning will probably be a bit better.
It’s okay if you don’t break a sweat.
Old me: yoga isn’t a workout.
New me: wow time to refuel after that 8 hours of sleep.
I used to buy into the narrative that I needed a post exercise high to wakeup in the morning. My day didn’t start until I peeled off a sticky sports bra.
But now, my day doesn’t start until I finish a leisurely 2-mile river walk with my little family.
No electrolytes lost in the makings of my mornings now.
Because not everyday needs to start with an ice bath, a sauna, or a sweat. A little sunrise goes a long way.
It’s okay if you wear something simple.
Even if you wore it yesterday too.
Can we talk about the not clean not dirty pile for a second? I’m talking about that sweatshirt you’ve been wearing on repeat because you like the way it looks with your dainty gold necklace.
Trends aren’t really my thing right now. I just focus selecting what makes me feel good about myself. Usually something boyfriend fit. Probably something black.
Adopting a little bit of a morning uniform has been one thing that has incredibly streamlined my life since becoming a mom. There’s no decision fatigue when you accept that everything will get covered with yogurt anyways.
But hey, clothes are meant to be worn, stained, tattered and wrinkled. Don’t save your favorite fit for the perfect conditions, because there’s no such thing.
It’s okay if you cherry pick your habits.
I’m not a tongue scraper. I tried it. It’s just not for me.
But I do use my red light mask for 10 minutes every morning. It fits into my routine, and I genuinely enjoy it.
Life, habits, and health all became a lot simpler when I stopped trying to adhere to every single wellness girlie rule I stumbled upon on the internet.
I can pick and choose. And so can you.
It’s okay if you move slowly.
I love my mornings. And honestly since I go to bed insanely early, morning is really the majority of my day.
You’d think that since I wakeup so early I’d be able to get “SO much done”.
Sometimes that’s the case.
But a lot of my early morning hours are spent moving pretty slowly.
There’s something to be said for not rushing around first thing in the morning. I’ve found that stillness exudes confidence. And with that, comes the feeling that I hope to carry with me for the rest of my day.
Okay. Let’s recap my biggest morning guilty not-guilty pleasures.
Let time be idle. Eat something you genuinely want.
Exercise, thoughtfully. If you want.
Move at your own god damn pace.
And when all else fails, remember two things for morning time well spent:
Something you really want to do
Something you really have to do.
Either will scratch an itch.
I love this!
I love my mornings! You have me now contemplating how I, too, can have morning be the majority of my day. 😆